Often when I post and when I read other bloggers posts, I wonder about the tone. It's hard to tell the 'tone' in the written word without going into a huge explanation and even with exclamation marks, the tone is hard to 'hear'.
Of course, this lead me off on a million and one different thougths.
In real life, two of my closest friends, both told me that the first time they laid eyes on me, their initial assumption and thought of me was, quite simply ... BITCH - apparently without saying a word, my carriage suggests that I'm a bitch. Well yes, carrying yourself with confidence seems to cause others to make that assumption.
Now, after 24 years of one friendship and 15 years of another, they know me and know that despite the fact that on a physical level I may come across like that, and despite that I'm very direct and blunt (still can't seem to be the syrupy sweet type - feels so damn false), I'm really not a total Bitch. I'm just short on patience and pettiness and have a hard time not calling bullshit, bullshit.
Another funny thing (not really funny) is that most people think that I'm super confident because of the way I carry myself, dress and so forth, those people don't know the real me. Because I chat easily with people and laugh a lot and poke a little fun and make jokes, some people assume I'm a little simple and shallow ... they don't the real me. I'm a classic case of don't judge the book by the cover. Underneath the confidence, the happy laugh, the smiling face is a completely different story ... so when you see me in person and you assume these things ... underneath the facade is someone real, and tender, and honest, and caring, and a secret keeper, and a fierce protector ... I think life is just too short to walk around miserable and moping and I try to spread a little sunshine and laughter to get through the day and hey, who enjoys a sour susan anyways.
I have no idea why this all came tumbling out of me now, but it did ... and for some reason I think it needed to be said ...
Interesting post little one!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm glad you said it. Spilling our guts is cathartic.
ReplyDeleteI am like you in that what appears on the surface doesn't match what's happening beneath. My traits are very different from yours but we share the experience of people misunderstanding who we are.
I'd like to get to know you better. I think I know you but won't assume I'm right until you confirm it.
Hey buddy, I want to mention that I just wore the top you gave me on my blog. And, of course, credited you with the gift.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind but I wore it backwards 'cause it looks cute that way. It looks good frontward also, but I wanted to show off the bow.
Well said, Wendy....and very true. I've also been surprised by people's first impressions of me. As my husband always says, 'be true to yourself'...and you sound like you have that one sorted.
ReplyDeleteIt's a pleasure reading your blog.
Apparently, in person, I do not make a great first impression. I'm told by those that are my friends now that I seemed cold, snobbish, and judgmental before they got to know me. Once someone told me they thought I was an intellectual snob- if you knew my affinity for fart jokes that would make you laugh too. And I'm the least judgmental person I know. I'm the one who is always telling my husband not to scream at terrible drivers because maybe they are racing to the emergency room and their deathly ill child. But I guess if I'm not actively making fart jokes I come across as bitchy too.
ReplyDeleteI was told by someone who knows me pretty well that my blog 'sounds just like me' which I hope is the fun, bad driver forgiving, fart joking me. And not the cold, snobby, judgy, first impression me.
I totally agree with your post - I have been called all those things and more and it crushes me
ReplyDelete