Friday, October 23, 2009

Love letter ....

We set off to set up a home together … I wanted to say thank you, to write you a love letter, but you were caught up in the frustration of another job to do … my heart sank a little … my heart closed a little.

My child came bounding in to share something with you, and you opened your mouth and a snake slithered out … it had angry red eyes and a sharp piercing tongue and my child ran away, almost cowered in a corner, pain in it’s eyes and confusion across it’s face … as I wanted to write you a love letter, my heart turned to stone.

Then my body betrayed me, it got sick, it broke down, it pulled me into a down, down so low, it said ‘Enough’ … and I turned to you for comfort and strength … but you pushed me away with impatience in your voice … told me to keep going … I pushed and pushed and my soul screamed out in pain … and I looked in your eyes and saw a hardness and when I needed to be sheltered in your arms, I found they were folded … and suddenly I realised, yet again, I’m all alone in this world. Just me!

Trudging on, fighting the fight, and the love that had welled up was pushed down below my feet … and I looked down and saw myself trampling all over it … and what was pretty and pure and light as a butterfly, was crumpled and broken and grey … and it weighed too much.

1 comment:

  1. I like this intense post, though not the fact that you went through it. Thank you SO MUCH for your encouraging words to me...

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment - I love hearing others feelings and appreciate your time. Please be honest - BUT kind.

Have a fabulous day now and I'll be coming round to visit you as soon as I can.

Thanks again, Wendy