Friday, October 23, 2009

Love letter ....

We set off to set up a home together … I wanted to say thank you, to write you a love letter, but you were caught up in the frustration of another job to do … my heart sank a little … my heart closed a little.

My child came bounding in to share something with you, and you opened your mouth and a snake slithered out … it had angry red eyes and a sharp piercing tongue and my child ran away, almost cowered in a corner, pain in it’s eyes and confusion across it’s face … as I wanted to write you a love letter, my heart turned to stone.

Then my body betrayed me, it got sick, it broke down, it pulled me into a down, down so low, it said ‘Enough’ … and I turned to you for comfort and strength … but you pushed me away with impatience in your voice … told me to keep going … I pushed and pushed and my soul screamed out in pain … and I looked in your eyes and saw a hardness and when I needed to be sheltered in your arms, I found they were folded … and suddenly I realised, yet again, I’m all alone in this world. Just me!

Trudging on, fighting the fight, and the love that had welled up was pushed down below my feet … and I looked down and saw myself trampling all over it … and what was pretty and pure and light as a butterfly, was crumpled and broken and grey … and it weighed too much.

1 comment:

  1. I like this intense post, though not the fact that you went through it. Thank you SO MUCH for your encouraging words to me...


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