I am such a fuck-up - truely and seriously so screwed up, but I do such a good job of fooling everyone into thinking I have my shit together ... but I don't, deep down, man I can barely think straight half time ... I'm amazed I managed to stay married for 13 years and hold down a relationship for all of 10 months.
I want to be together in my thoughts, I want the shit that happened in my childhood to be done with ... I'm trying, fuck I try every day just by getting out of bed, by coming home to the craziness that is my life ... I manage that every day ... I've worked on forgiving my ex husband, the preacher, the teachers, my sisters, I've even been working of forgiving my mother, I've tried what the preachers say, but man, there are issues so deep and they scare me, and the demons keep coming ... enough.
Enough!
I think that achieving peace and comfort is a journey! There's no one moment at which it all snaps into place. The journey is where all of the learning happens. We're all at various points along the road.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with teahouse's comment more.
ReplyDeleteSweetie, I sent you an email yesterday but never got a receipt, did you get it?
Also re your comment prop 8 was the initiative to ban same sex marriage in Ca. This is the second time we've voted on it now. The first time it passed and it got overturned and now it passed again. I am so sad about it. I think it's so unfair!