Friday, July 18, 2008

1 woman band - NOT!

"Whoever loves becomes humble.
Those who love have,
so to speak,
pawned a part of their narcissism."
-Sigmund Freud

I’m rather ashamed to admit that at times I have little (I mean really little) hissy fits.
More often than not, they’re in the morning, simply because I’m not a great morning person, never really have been, and adding 4 children to my life … well, ummm, right – adds quite a bit of stress to a non-morning person’s life.

Things that set me off are when one of the kids suddenly remembers that they need something for school, when cereal or milk gets messed all over the floor (but I don’t freak out as badly as I used to), or that their lift can’t bring them home, or that they have to be somewhere or do something and tell me at the last minute. Bear in mind, I’ve been doing the parenting gig alone for a while. So, back to today, I had a little ‘moment’ this morning I was going into the office late as I had a medical scheduled for 8am this morning (will share all the details as to why later), when an sms comes in from Miz T saying that she needs to be collected from school. Right – it’s an hour round trip to collect her, drop her at home and get back to the office. That just set me off. See, I work on contract which means that I get paid for each hour I work. It’s quite an adjustment coming from full time employment and I hate to think of my life in terms of money, but this is how it’s become. So to cut a long boring story short, I have a freak out, my wonderful G-man says ‘just chill’, and tells me he could possibly collect her for me. But I about chewed his head off when he told me to just chill, I went into a whole speech about how I didn’t feel like chillin’ and how sick I am of all this. Thankfully he can stay real calm even when I’m getting on his nerves and he kissed me good bye and gets ready to head to work. So he goes off to work, but I did rush down the passage and hug and kiss him and said I’m sorry before he left. I am driving to the Dr. when I realise just how awesome he is (this happens on a daily basis) and I send of an sms apologising for being a little sheit.

And then my heart just melts, and beats faster, and I send up a prayer of Thanks and ask God to keep him safe because he just blows me away and I realise that my prayers were answered when I read this reply
“You is forgiven. Bad news is as long as u have kids, you have these things. Just have to live with it. I am there to help u now. No longer 1 woman band!”

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Thanks again, Wendy