Thursday, January 17, 2008

A question of trust ...

How do you learn to trust again after a big betrayal? It's weird, scary and a daily thing to do ... when the devill sits on my shoulder whispering nonsense to me about everything, I have to remind myself to slap him quiet real hard!
The reason for the above statement, just every now and then I get these moments of what I call 'madness' about everything. I know its insecurity and I know, it's not right to think that the person you're with will do to you what your ex did, but I'm sure everyone has a little niggle in the back of their mind from time to time - right?
So moving along ... I am almost scared to say this out loud after the two relationships last year ... but I have met a wonderful sweet gorgeous guy .... I thrill everytime I think of him. He's just so perfectly wonderful that at times I can't believe he's real! I eluded to the fact in previous posts ... dah if you didn't pick it up! We met through work, first became friends of sorts, and then next thing I knew, I just couldn't get enough of him. It's been awesome and fun and comfortable. Like really really really comfortable. Besides my friend James, I've never met anyone with whom I feel so comfortable, and so quickly at that. It's like putting on the perfect pair of denims, just the right lenght, the right weight of fabric, the right cut ... just right ... he fits! He fits right into my life, it's not as thought I'm being forced to make allowances, or feel that I need to explain or change or re-arrange me, or my life. Yes, in time, if all goes according to plan, I may need to re-arrange my wardrobe and make space for him in the physical part of my life. It's uncanny how it's all worked out.
I sent a request into the universe, I asked for someone specific, I had a lot of things I was looking for. I looked and looked and then as I was about to give up, believing that he did not exist, or that it was too tall an order, he appeared in my life ... perfect timing.
Like minds and souls attracted?
Personally, I think its two souls finding their match, at last!

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Thanks again, Wendy