So much has happened in the last three months and I’ve been slack in coming here and pouring myself out … but I feel like I need to put this out there.
Right now I’m missing an old online friend who I could pour out all these things to. I don’t have anyone here who is not personally invested in this to communicate with, to be a sound board, to just listen and advise without actually being ‘in’ the situation. There are those who have offered, but I'm having an issue with trust ... a big big big issue with trust.
I don’t know whether my child is trying to sabotage an already rocky relationship, or if she is just attempting to open my eyes … I suspect a bit of both. But it’s been going on for a couple months now, and that’s despite the nagging feelings of doubt I’ve been having … and I’m hurt and disappointed and disillusioned and quite honestly, I’m really quite angry.
But I don’t know which way to turn. I can’t hear my own ‘still small voice’ in all this and its driving me nuts.
I guess I’m also tired of going round and round the same issue and there’s no resolution, just more and more frustration adding up … I need to resolve this, make a decision.
Right now I’m missing an old online friend who I could pour out all these things to. I don’t have anyone here who is not personally invested in this to communicate with, to be a sound board, to just listen and advise without actually being ‘in’ the situation. There are those who have offered, but I'm having an issue with trust ... a big big big issue with trust.
I don’t know whether my child is trying to sabotage an already rocky relationship, or if she is just attempting to open my eyes … I suspect a bit of both. But it’s been going on for a couple months now, and that’s despite the nagging feelings of doubt I’ve been having … and I’m hurt and disappointed and disillusioned and quite honestly, I’m really quite angry.
But I don’t know which way to turn. I can’t hear my own ‘still small voice’ in all this and its driving me nuts.
I guess I’m also tired of going round and round the same issue and there’s no resolution, just more and more frustration adding up … I need to resolve this, make a decision.
Busymom964 (at) gmail (dot) com
ReplyDeleteIm always hear if you need an ear, and now I am officially trained to listen :)
Do you feel like you're spinning your wheels? I get that feeling a lot, that I just need a big jolt to get myself out and going forward!
ReplyDelete